I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
