The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
