also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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