winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
