It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
