my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize