After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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