The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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