That's intense
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
