he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
40s are totally the cure
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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