ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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