How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
