your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
