why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
