I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
