Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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