Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
