My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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