Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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