in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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