Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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