How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
