apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
