I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
