I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
