I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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