Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
