ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
