Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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