based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
