she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
