call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
