I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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