I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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