I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
