I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize