My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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