Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
