first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
