Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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