Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
