Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
