You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
