You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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