he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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