in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
