dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
