i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
