he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I need a beard to bite.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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