just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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