Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize