I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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