that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
