brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
