What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
