and next time when you feel me up, do it right
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
