i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
you never un-have a 4some
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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