I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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