she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
