the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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