So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
